Fantasy and Reality

Koko's interpretative map of North America and Asia. The blue parts are the Great Lakes.

Maria Montessori seemed to believe that children should be first rooted in reality before being exposed to too much fantasy not because she was necessarily against fantasy itself, but she saw the danger of fantasy being an escape from reality, something that she saw in the slum children she worked with.

For this reason, I did make it a point to not expose Koko to too much fantasy when she was younger. (I am not sure if that's absolutely necessary in the grand scheme of things, but this was the route I initially chose. Now that I have more children, all my younger children are exposed to everything earlier.) Also, since the Bible is so important to our lives and because we regard the word of God as truth, I didn't want them to get too confused. However, I have always carried an appreciation for fantasy and fairies and even now enjoy children's fantasy novels (Was I the only one annoyed to discover at the end of Brisingr, the supposed finale, that the author had extended his final book in the Eragon series to one more novel?). I've concluded that tooth fairies, Santa Claus, and such can be part of the magic of childhood. And fantasy, when used prudently, can help children visualize the spiritual world in the positive sense.

However, my children, when they play and draw often discuss continents, role-play Bible stories, and play house. I sometimes wondered if I deprived them of fantasy. When we did Santa Claus for the first real time this year, Koko had so many questions. How exactly did this present phenomenon work? Did we buy presents for Santa to give us? Was he real or fake? And how would Santa come down if there was an actual fire in the fireplace? I was dismayed when a few days she discovered receipts inside the rolling backpacks Santa had bought them. (I had forgotten that my friend who had purchased them for me had left them there.) Jubilantly, she exclaimed, "Santa shops!" and that was the end of that. Whew!

Fantasy and reality--I want a little of both. The natural world is wondrous in itself, but making a fairy house can be fun, too. These days I've been reading more children's books that are beloved in the Waldorf community. Tonight, we read The Story of the Root Children which shows pictures of little root children painting beetles and bees so that they can be adorned for spring. Koko immediately said, "We don't paint insects for real." But then after a pause, she said thoughtfully, "Though in heaven, I think bees and mosquitoes won't bite." And Cheeky whose current favorites include Jesus is Coming Back and Runaway Bunny suddenly exclaimed, "I want to fly like that bunny and talk to animals in heaven." (This same child, during the Christmas season was slightly traumatized by the idea of Santa Claus flying in a sleigh with reindeer and insisted that she would only ride Santa's sleigh if mommy, daddy, Koko, and Eggy were with her.)

So, now while my children know all about King Winter, Jack Frost, and Mrs. Thaw, they always like to remind me that God is the one who makes it snow. And to me, that's truly magical.