My face is sprinkled with pimples and my normally thick hair is flat and thin. And worse is this nausea that hits whenever I am hungry. There's something different about this pregnancy. Could I be having a boy or am I just getting old?
This might sound strange, but among Korean folklore/old wives' tales, there is something called a gender dream 'temo.' For all my children, except my first that ended in a miscarriage, I had a dream that was indicative of my baby's gender.
With my first, I dreamed of two tiger cubs which signifies two girls. And with my second pregnancy with Cheeky, I had a strange dream of a huge black snake with golden markings coming to me in a basket. The basket was offered to me but I adamantly refused. I felt that my second dream reflected God's willingness to give me a son, but my great fear of having one.
Now getting back to the black panther. A few days ago, I had a dream that my mother secretly and illegally brought a black panther from Korea. I was furious with her and insisted she call the police and the wildlife authorities and send that black panther back. I was apprehensive of the black panther that somehow slept with me in my bedroom with my two girls the previous night. I was scared that the creature would eat my children. But nothing in the black panther's behavior itself showed otherwise. It was peaceful, often slumbering in a corner and in appearance, sleek and beautiful. The dream ended with me at a computer frantically thinking of what to google.
I woke up confused and disorientated. I've been anxious about this baby--whether I would miscarry or the possibility of something being amiss. I've also been thinking of how my life might change if I had a son. And I feel that this dream reflects my fear of boys and their stereotypical "wildness." I am not an expert on 'temo' dreams, but I think the black panther represents a son.
Currently, there's not a single son in both sides of the family. Understandably, my Korean in-laws are eager for at least one son to carry the family name. I do want a son. Who's going to carry all the heavy groceries when I get old? Besides, my husband reminds me, could a son be possibly more wild than my intense, spirited, and high- energy two girls? That is a good point.
2 comments:
I always knew Josh was a boy but I can not tell you why. Hope you feel better soon!
I knew Isabella was a girl. The ultrasound did not confirm it until I was in the hospital but my heart kept telling me it was a girl. I understand your fear in boys, but I think they are harder the first years and then they become momma's boys.
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